DOES YOUR LIFE EVER FEEL LIKE ITS DICTATED BY HOW MANY GOALS YOU HAVE? LIKE THE MORE YOU FILL YOUR TIME WITH MINDLESS TASKS THE MORE SUPERIOR YOU ARE? I’VE FOUND THAT I’VE GROWN UP BELIEVING THAT IF I HAVE FREE TIME AND I’M NOT DOING SOMETHING, ANYTHING, I’M FULFILLING NO PURPOSE AND THEREFORE I AM NULL AND VOID.

PERHAPS THERES TRUTH TO THIS THOUGH. TIME IS MONEY AND MONEY IS LIFE. IF YOU DON’T ACT EFFICIENTLY YOU BURN TIME WHICH BURNS MONEY WHICH BURNS LIFE. THESE IDEALS HAVE CAUSED ME TO BECOME A SLAVE TO MONOTONY AND TEDIOUSNESS. ITS NOT JUST MEANINGLESS TASKS EITHER. I NEED TO FILL MY TIME WITH HOMEWORK AND A JOB JUST AS MUCH AS I NEED TO FILL IT WITH MUSIC AND BOOKS AND GAMES. I CAN’T LAY DOWN IN BED OR SIT FOR MORE THAT 10 MINUTES WITHOUT BEING BOMBARDED BY THE THOUGHT THAT I AM WASTING AWAY.

THE ONLY EXCEPTION TO THIS HOWEVER IS WHEN I AM FINALLY ABLE TO ESCAPE FROM A SOCIETY WHERE I BELIEVE THESE IDEALS. SOME GOOD EXAMPLES ARE ONES PORTRAYED BELOW, WHERE I AM ENVELOPED IN AN AREA WITHOUT A SCHEDULE. DO I WANT WALK AROUND? DO I WANT TO SIT DOWN? DO I WANT TO TALK TO OTHERS? IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT I DO HERE BECAUSE THERES NOTHING I CAN DO THAT AFFECTS MY LIFE. I CAN’T DO HOMEWORK IN THE MIDDE OF THE WOODS, I CANT PLAY BASKETBALL ON THE COASTLINE, AND I CAN’T WORK MY JOB IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN. THE ONLY THING LEFT TO DO IS NOTHING. AND THATS WHAT I STRIVE FOR. THE PURE HAPPINESS AND FEELING OF COMPLETION THAT IS NOTHINGNESS.